So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
