i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think people are normalizing furries
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
