Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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