i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
