Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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