Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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