Cold hands, warm shart.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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