maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
