I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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