I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
