wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
