Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
