I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
