let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
