Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
