How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
