No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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