I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
