if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
