Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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