last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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