her vagine was all disorganized.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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