Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
