This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i think i just lost a toe
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
