weddingsv make me drug and hornr
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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