im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
