I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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