Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
