You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
