You're so nebulous sometimes
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
