the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
