u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
