I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
