this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
