The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
