just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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