so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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