i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
