never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
