I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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