two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
