OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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