My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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