the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
