Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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