Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
