whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
