Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Randomize
