he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
