i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
