What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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